Strengths, Weaknesses & Fatal Flaws

There are a lot of talk and articles on a development and focus on strengths.

The strengths-based development approach focuses on developing strengths and mitigating weaknesses.

However, without clearly defining what we mean by strengths and weakness, it leaves many things ambiguous and may case some confusion.

Here is the dictionary definition of strengths and weakness:

(source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/strength)

strength
: the quality or state of being physically strong
: the ability to resist being moved or broken by a force
: the quality that allows someone to deal with problems in a determined and effective way 

Weakness
: the quality or state of being weak
: a quality or feature that prevents someone or something from being effective or useful
: something that you like so much that you are often unable to resist it  

I've come across some articles that says we should focus on strengths rather than weaknesses unless there are some fatal flaws which needs to be addressed first.  And some might adopt the George Constanza approach of fixing fatal flaws by simply doing the opposite.

But often times, trying to do the opposite of what you have always done is like trying to make a u-turn on the highway without first exiting and re-entering on the other side - you find everything else coming against you.  And that's assuming that you can in fact make that u-turn!

In the Strengths-Based approach, Strengths is defined as the ability to have consistent near-perfect performance at a particular task. This is achieved by developing our talents - our natural recurring way of thinking, feeling or behaving - and applying it to the task at hand.

When we understand what our talents are, what these talents contribute and need, we are then able to better identify the path-of-least-resistance in meeting our goals and objectives.  The first step is then to identify what our natural strengths are.  One way is to take the Clifton StrengthsFinder Assessment which will give you your top 5 Talent Themes, the other is reflect on what you are passionate about, pick up easily, do well naturally, and get lost in when engaged in that activity.

Once we identify how we are naturally wired, we can then decide the best way to mitigate any weakness - strategic partnerships, systems & processes, and leveraging on your other strengths.

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” ― Carl R. Rogers

Updates

It seems that I'm updating this blog about once a year previously, and now even longer.  I really haven't had much motivation to blog constantly with so many things to do.  But reading the previous posts I think this makes a good way to track back on the past.  :)

So.... What has transpired since my Jan 2011 post?? (That was 3 years ago!!)

Career

Well, for one, I have changed roles in Aug 2011, and I am now in a different industry!  One would think that a jump from Public Sector to Hospitality to Facilities Management would seem rather haphazard.   I guess looking at the profile it does seem that way, but the job switch was due to my experience in Hospitality, and the company (or account actually) wanted to look at improving their soft-services.  Honestly, I believed that God created this role specially for me so that I could make the switch and also get back to serving Him.

The role gave me lots of time flexibility, and stretched me in terms of being able to handing people more senior and experienced than myself.  A regional role does look better on my resume.  I had exploited my talents in terms of coming up with ideas for doing things (how does an excel sheet programmed with VB  interfaced with a barcode scanner to track out-going mails sound?),  standardising a regional operating document, and coming up with ways to analyse data to leverage on the pareto principle.


Church and Ministry

Since returning to church in 2011, there had been several changes.  The cell group that I returned with Daniel as the cell leader then merged with the cluster, and I then changed cluster in Apr 2013 and eventually took up leading a wonderful group of youths in Aug 2013 after we multiplied.  I named the cell group "Living Stones" based on a vision that God gave me from 1 Peter 2:4-10.

It is really difficult to put all my feelings and emotions towards the cell group into words, but here's an attempt to do so.

It started with fear and a wonder if I would be able to lead the cell.  I've seen these people when they first joined us from YouthNet, and these were brilliant people!  At some level, I felt quite inadequate to lead them.  But I know God doesn't always call the qualified, but He always qualifies those He called!

It took some time to know the people, and I guess being about 10 years older does put some generational gap between us.  And I needed to learn about what the concerns were for this generation.  I'm still learning, but I'm confident that God has a wonderful plan for the cell group, and will lead it from glory to glory.

We have already seen several salvations, and also God moving powerfully in the families.  I believe He will strength the lives of the members and cause them to ARISE and SHINE (The motto for our church this year).

Ministry wise, I had joined Gkidz when I was still in Daniel's cell group, after about 3 years, I've decided it is the season to step down and focus on my cell group.  I don't say this from a position of pride, or self-glorification, but I just feel it needs to be done so that I am more available to them.  I love my Gkidz team, and there is a team-bonding that is both rare and very precious.  I do hope that relationships do not fade over time.  And I also hope that I have the opportunity to see some of the children that I am closer to grow-up even though I'm no longer in the Ministry.

StrengthsFinder 2.0

In my Oct 2010 post, I wrote that I took the StrengthsFinder 2.0 Assessment.

In 2012, our church cluster started looking at using StrengthsFinder as a developmental tool for our people.  We bought a huge amount of books when Borders closed down, and had our leaders and interns take the assessment.  At that point of time, our understanding of the tool and ability to leverage on it was still rather raw. But it had potential in helping each person maximise their God-given talents in the areas of service.

In 2013, Gallup started their first ever accelerated coaching course in Asia, and it is conducted here in Singapore!  After consulting some friends and trainers, I decided to go for the course to be certified.  I've found that there is so much that the tool offers in terms of understanding a person and also developing a person based on their strengths.  It gives the freedom to be who you are (which includes an acceptance of who you are not), and to develop yourself based on that understanding and self-awareness.

After taking the course, I'd been coaching a number of people as part of the course requirements.  In order to do it justice, I made sure that I had at least 3 sessions of 1 hour each with each person!  With a total of more than 8 people on my list, I clock easily over 24hrs of coaching just to build on my coaching skills using this tool.  I've completed coaching of 4 people thus far, and require 6 in total for completing my certification.  It's been an interesting and insightful journey so far!

To build on my coaching skills, I'm working on starting a peer-coaching relationship with some friends who have taken the course as well, and also signed up for a monthly coaching session with a coach (that's all I can afford at this point).

Rather than create another blog on StrengthsFinder, I've decided to just blog them here and label the posts accordingly.  Look out for them!

Our Deepest Fear

One of the A-Coaches was kind enough to encourage everyone with a note. On it was an inspirational poem by Marianne Williamson which had been used in a few movies, one of it being Coach Carter. I thought I'd share it here. :)

-------------

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves,

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.

There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we’re liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.

--Marianne Williamson

Coaching Preparation

The Coach camp is nearing! In fact there's one going on right now. Too bad I'll need work on Mon-Wed, don't think I can take a full 5 days off for two camps. But well, one camp should be a good experience for me too.

I hadn't been contacted yet with information on the details on preparation for the camp. On my own though, my thought mechanisms had been running. And I have a few ideas I would like to put to the test.

1) Its always difficult to get participants to break the ice initially. Sometimes, what bonds people is what they have in common. Be it hobbies, or simply having come from the same school. So what I have in mind for the first task.... is for them to find similarities with each other. There're two ways I can go about doing this. Firstly, is for them to pair up and simply find as common areas as possible in those pairs. Alternatively, I can just let them move around and find 3 common areas with 3 other people. Which do you think will be more effective? :P

2) Aligning Expectations. Sometimes for adult seminars, expectations are clarified and then reviewed if they are met at the end of the course. Since the target audience are now... young adults... I'm not so sure if this approach will work too. But never know until I put it to the test... so perhaps this camp is good testing ground.

3) Eliciting Criteria. I may not have the time for this part, but it may be good to ask them "what has to happen before they will enjoy themselves and put in their best?" This will elicit the criteria which can then be used to motivate or urge them. Its kind of an unconscious agreement, you tell me what has to happen for you to do X, and when it is fulfilled, the person should rightfully be compelled to do X. Still not sure if that would work, and perhaps I should keep it for another camp....

That's all I have for now.... there are other tricks up my sleeve.... but I don't think can test everything out in a single camp. :)

Coaching in March (Part 2)

Coach Training and the Coach Selection is over. And I'm coaching for the IAG camp. That's Sec1 to JC2 kidz.

It appears that they do not have enough people who are available to coach for the SK camp this time round, and they are asking if I would like to coach that camp. Actually, I would like to do so if I could spare the time. But I have a divisional outing that I really should not miss, and I don't think taking a full 5 days of leave is an appropriate thing to do.

So this time round, I think I'll just coach the IAG camp. Perhaps in the June Holidays I'll stagger my time abit more and coach for more camps.

I wonder who my a-coach will be....

Coaching in March

The next Coaching Camp is coming and Mar... and I'm thinking of participating. I must say, its rather irritating that for some reason I'm not on their mailing list.

Anyway, now have the option of coaching pri sch kidz or Sec sch kidz. I'd already experienced the pri sch kidz, now wondering if I should give the sec sch one a shot, or to coach the pri sch one again. Afterall, I'm now more familiar with it, and had some learning points from my previous coaching experience.

On the other hand, the age gap is smaller if I coach the sec sch kidz, and perhaps it will be easier to build rapport. Its the age where they are challenge others more too though. Hmm... choices choices.... :P

In anycase, I need to see if I can get leave for those days, otherwise its all talk.... haha... but coaching is definately a good source of variety in my life. Ever thought of getting coached myself too.... but getting professionally coached is just way to expensive.... and lots of time committment.

I miss...

It took some time to sink in I guess, but I think...

I miss the coaches.....
I miss the a-coaches....
I miss the participants.... (yes, even some of the naughty ones....)


I'm now on a quest to find the email list of my participants.... got lost when it was passed around (between my co-coach and APD)...

Tiring but Satisfying 5 days

I've finally done my very first coaching camp! This time round, I had a group of 7 beautiful and handsome little children, from P3 to P5.

I was rather nervous at first because this is something new, and while I felt that my knowledge of NLP would be useful to me, I realised that most of the time I just go on auto-pilot and have yet to inbuild NLP naturally into my behaviours.

But it doesn't really matter, because overtime its really a matter of caring for these kidz from the heart. Its pretty strange actually, because I think I learnt alot about myself, perhaps more than the kidz had learnt from me. In some ways, its part of a self-discovery journey for myself.

Yesterday, during the last day of the camp, I had the deja vu feeling. It was a dream I've had I think about a year back. It was the same feeling, same scene and same structural layout. I have not recollection of the people in my dream, but the deja vu feeling was obvious. Somehow, I felt that right then, right there, was where I was meant to be.

I'm really unable to describe more about how I feel right now. But I can say that I'm so glad I made a difference in some people's lives. How do I know? Some of them wrote little notes of appreciation. :)

I collated the email list and contact numbers of my participants at the last min, and now its with the assistant director of the camp because I forgot to take it back! Argh! I hope he keeps it and passes it back to me soon, else I'll be disappointing my kidz.

that's all for now. I needa back up and prepare for work. Pictures will be up when my kidz sent me the photos... hahahaha